Disability jokes
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!