Disability jokes
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
There are people weirder looking than me.
Like who?
Like people with Down syndrome.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman: