Disability jokes
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.