Disability jokes
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.