Disability jokes
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.