Disability jokes
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of 'em can see their parents.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?