Direction jokes

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

What's the definition of rude?

Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.

Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.

Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?

"Can you give me some pointers?"

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the side that he was not on.

-->[] go through the door if you can.

Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.

“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"

“Yes," replied Hodja.

“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.

Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.

The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.

“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"

“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."

Bob: Kanye West.

Dad: No, but I can East.

Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?

Me: 'Cause God made you.

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

The blond because she had to ask for directions.

The Homo Sexual was a direct descendant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.

I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.

What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?

Up Shepherd's leg.

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.