Direction jokes
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
What do you call One Direction converted to Islam?
Al-Qaedirection
Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the beat.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush? Up Shepherd's leg.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Explain bear.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.