Difference jokes
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
How are humans and computers different? A human doesn't have trouble shooting.
What is the difference between a human and a burger?
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.