What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Difference Jokes
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?
If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
