Difference jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?
I can’t marmalade my cock into your mum’s arse.
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.