Difference jokes

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?

One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.

What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's the difference between a pizza & a person?

A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?

Beets stain your teeth.

What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?

...Rape.

How are genders different than the Twin Towers?

There are two genders.

What's the difference between a baby and putty?

You can only eat one.