Difference jokes

What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?

Yo mama can be found on Google maps.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?

Santa got the milk.

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.