Difference Jokes

What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?

At least gorillas don't abort their own.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?

About 15 stone.

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

2 semesters (type in 2),

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).

Don't tell me different methods of preparation are the same ever again.

The image shows two different cars. The top car has a white frame and is associated with a disgusted looking cartoon fish, ketchup, tomatoes, spaghetti, and pizza. Above this image are the words, "This is Trash". The bottom car has a red frame and is associated with two pixelated chicken thighs and the same cartoon fish looking content. Above this is the phrase, "But I like this."

What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?

They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

Me and my brother talking about relationships.

Me: We live kind of differently.

Brother: We're sort of alike.

Me: We're not alike.

Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!

My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?

I don't worship Jesus.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.