Difference jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?

Nothing.

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have another pair of balls.

There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?

Santa got the milk.

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.

Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?

A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.