Difference jokes
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?
I don’t have a garage.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.