Difference jokes
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Yo momma so slutty, when she got a throat swab, the lab found eight different types of semen on her tonsils.