Difference jokes

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.

What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?

14 number 1 hits.

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

- Oh...that might actually be even easier.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in a different box.

What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini.

What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?

Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?

A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.