Difference jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."