Difference jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔