Difference jokes
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
What's the difference between yes and no...
Nothing.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
Stressed Out - By - Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions - I wish I found some better sounds No one's ever heard. I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words. I wish I found some chords In an order that is new. I wish I didn't have to rhyme Every time I sang.
I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink. But now I'm insecure And I care what people think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think.
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We're stressed out
Sometimes a certain smell will Take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify Where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it If I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it I'd probably only sell one. It'd be to my brother, cause we have the same nose Same clothes, home grown The stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when Nothing really mattered Out of student loans and tree house homes We all would take the latter My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
We used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face saying "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Whats the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air. 😅🤣😂
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.