Die jokes

As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...

"It was just a prank bro."

"Where ya going?"

"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."

Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"

Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.

Hahahahahahah I'm dying.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

How did Steven Hawking die?

He lost internet connection.

I have a riddle for you:

10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.

Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”

Once he eats it, he starts crying.

Why?

You see, my son is very into astronomy.

Son: How do stars die?

Dad: Usually overdose, son.

I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

Hi guys, I'm back, and YES, two jokes/blogs in one day. I KNOW. I just have nothing to do!!! So today I'm going to tell you how to get what you want from your parents!!! And there will be a joke at the end too. Enjoy!

So the prank that I have for you guys today is, make sure you have glue, dye, and a toothbrush that is not yours >:) So you are going to put the dye in the glue and then put the glue on the toothbrush and give it to your sibling and say, "Here. I got your toothbrush ready for you." Then, make sure they take it. Once they take it, run so that they cannot hit you once they taste it.

Thanks for reading this prank today guys!!! I hope it works out for you, and I can't wait to hear what happens with you guys in the comments below, so make sure to comment and tell me what happened when you pulled this prank!! Sorry, Prankster, if this is offensive to you since you do pranks too. I will not do them anymore if you don't want me to :) Thanks for reading guys, and here is that joke I told you about :)

Yo mama is so fat, when she got in the car, the wheels popped.

So I know this was not the best joke, and I can do better, but I will keep trying and see you guys next time! Bye!!! :)

How to make an orphan die?

Tell them to yell until their folks come home.

I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.

What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?

"ERROR"

My grandpa died to ligma :(

LIGMA BALLS!