Die jokes
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.