Die jokes
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
Memes
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.