Die jokes
If I die, does my depression die with me?
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.