Dick's jokes
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
😉 i like target now
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What's that Pokemon that evolves into macargo?
Slugma.
Slugma dick.