Dick's jokes

Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?

Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

I'm not gay, dick.

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.

What is smaller than my dick?

Nothing.

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.

Little Johnny stooped down to lick my balls and deep dick my throbbing knob.

How do you shrivel a dick?

If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.

My dick hard.

Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.

Shaenaya likes goat dick.

Guys, why are we being racist? Why can't we love each other, please? Gimme that dick, boy. Please stop fighting. Let's love each other and them big ole dicks, please. Gimme that dick. I hate racism.

What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉

Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.

My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?