Dick

Dick Jokes

Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.

9

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg

It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless mans throat

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg

2

Somebody’s son said mom my dick has white stuff coming out of it, she said oh good one son so when’s the baby coming

2 weeks here

What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

They both like to be sucked on and they sometimes choke you.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

..their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

The man walks into a bar reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player the piano player starts playing the piano, the guy next to him asks where did you get that, the man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes, so the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside he says to the genie I want a million bucks, the genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks appear in the road, the man comes back inside and says hey that genie is a little hard of hearing, the man says well did you really think I'd ask for a 12-in pianist

Time for double joke tuesday

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me

Kid: Your a dick, you know!

Me: And your a pussy, you know?

Jeffery Dahmer has two things, an RV and a pit.

What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas

But what is similar is tha-

Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-

Sorry bout that......

Now as i was saying

What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit

Wait a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question

His husband said, whats your question?

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants"

son said to father last night was the best you and mom father said yeah me you and your mother had sex song said it was fun licking her P***** father said I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did did it feel good son said yes it was wanna do it again tomorrow father said YES BUT without your mom well suck each others dick and lick it and bite and shove each others dick next to each other son said yeah and if we do it again lets have mom and my girlfriend join next time father said ok its time to go to bed son son said ok love u can u and mom sleep with me without your clothes father said ok but you have to promise to go to bed son said ok see u there💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

Prostitute walks in the bar and she goes up to the bar tender and says I just made 100$ and 5¢ sucking dick the bar tender says who gave u the 5¢ the prostitute says they all did