Dick jokes
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?
Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.
Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!
Llama: What's your damn problem?
Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
What does BLM stand for?
Black Lust Matters.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.