Di jokes

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."