Di jokes

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"