Di jokes

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.