Di jokes

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.

What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.