Depression Jokes

On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they outside my head

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life. I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

What do you call a flat chested depressed person? A cutting board.

ı have ıt

a priest sees a man about to commit suicide the man says "I have nothing to live for here I will die go to heaven and get 72 virgins" then the priest says "no need for this I will take you to the local elementary school"

I decided that il end it all but when i drove off i remembered i forgot to do the dishes.

me : hey! do you know how to tie a knot? person : yea, why? me : cause I need help tying this noose :)

Breaking news (2020): depressed pigeon misses shitting on people

What's a depressed persons favourite drink

Depresso espresso

Nah just kidding it's bleach

What something the same about a depress kid anda hanger they both like to hang

My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree

I'm sick of crying;tired of trying;yes,i'm still smiling;inside I'm dying

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What does the depression person say to the happy person? Damn I wish I was on the stuff your on lol.

If you don ́t like my suicidal jokes, sorry man didn ́t know it cut that deep.

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"