Depression jokes
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
The belt broke.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Joke.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."