Depression jokes
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Let's have toast in the bath.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
If I die, delete my search history.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.