Depression jokes
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
Sleep, but make it forever.
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.