Depression jokes
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
Sleep, but make it forever.
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
Memes
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.