Depression jokes
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.