Depression jokes
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
I got jealous when my phone died.
Orphans: Sad, Depressed, Lonely, Virgin.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*