Depression jokes

Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.

Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.

Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.

People complain we are overpopulated.

Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

If gay means happy, then I am now straight.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."

1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"

Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

What is an emo kid's favorite song?

"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.