Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
