You are so ugly my man died.
Death Jokes
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
Guys we should stop making orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad... oh wait... Continue 🙂
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
