Death

Death jokes

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

The orphans all died!!!

Oh wait, no one cares...

Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.