Death jokes
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
Murder, murder, suicide by police.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.