Death jokes
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."