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Death

Death jokes

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

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    • There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

    If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

    Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

    You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

    Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

    I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!

    My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.

    She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭

    What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

    Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

    Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

    Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

    Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

    Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.

    What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"

    Miscarriage.