Stephen Hawkings isn't really dead, he's just rebooting
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up
What goes hahaha bonk A man laughing his head off
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 metres of a school?
Because he's dead
What’s an abreviation for school in America
Shooting range
Jokes just as dead as the victims
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
Why Cant Dinosaurs Clap? Cause They are Dead
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting 'Remind me later' on his Windows Updates.
What do you do with a dead scientist
You barium
What do you call a dead baby? spawn killed
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None you are both dead on the inside.
What do you call a dead parrot ? Polygon
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What we find At the end of every rainbow? ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
The letter W
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Stephen hawking isn’t dead he’s just can’t walk to the shop and get new batteries 🙄
went to my friend's house fucked his sister
i hade a fun fenaral / birthday
what do the titanic and the sixth sense have in common
icy dead people
