Dead jokes
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
if ykyk
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
My favorite toast for parties: May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."