Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle? Because she's dead.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
He dead, he alive but most importantly he got a new hard drive
Im dead😂💀💀
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said “Your sister is dead!” sadly. The girl asked “She was skinny, right?” The mom said yes. The sister laughed “I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!”
A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
did you ear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? well, he's dead.
I like my women like i like my coffee nice fresh and dead
Did you hear about the dead artist
Too many strokes
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are Dead.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride she says BOO! What kind of sick fuck does that?
Orphan:I wish to be like batman
Genie:Your wish is granted Orphan goes home his parents are dead
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus but I decided to abort
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
my impression of Michael Jackson's Butler: when answering the phone: - No, sorry he's dead. hangs up phone
What does vin diesel eat for dinner Survival Guilt
I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead