Dead

Dead jokes

Death

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Baby

What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?

My boner.

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  • Depression

    Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

    Person B: Over my dead body.

    Person B: *gets the noose*

    Dead Baby

    What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

    I don’t put fruit in a blender.

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  • Self Harm

    How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(

    How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(

    How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

    Gay

    How do you find out if your kid is gay?

    Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

    Death

    Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.

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  • Baby

    What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

    About 5000 calories.

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  • Orphan

    The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

    Car

    Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

    I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.