Dead jokes
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
Mert has no dad.
Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
Worried I am dead.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Your dad has a huge PP.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
My favorite toast for parties: May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
NONCE