Dead jokes
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
NO!!! NOT WIFISKELETON!!!!!!
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.