Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Your dad has a huge PP.
I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
