Dead

Dead jokes

The orphans all died!!!

Oh wait, no one cares...

Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.

Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”

Person #2: “No, you can have it.”

Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”

Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.

Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.