Dead jokes
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Hello people, my name is Osama.
I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!