Day

Day jokes

Surgeon

    • My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

    He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

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    • Reminder

    • Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

    Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

  • 8

    • Neighbor

    • One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

  • 1

    • Food

    • My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

    The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

    Orphan

    • Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

    Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

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    • Santa Claus

    • One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

    "Please send me a sibling!"

    Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

  • 1

    • Wheelchair

    • So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

    He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"

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    • Friend

    • So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

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    • Suicide

    • This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

    Torch

    • I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

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