Dating jokes

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!

I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?

Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

She replies, "Really original."

Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

She replies, "Ew, gross."

Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

Winner dog 3.

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?