Dating jokes
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.