Dating jokes
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.