Dating jokes
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you canβt find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Memes
A flirting tip for the boys
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, Iβm breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, Iβm dating your sister."
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! π΅π΅π΅π΅
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I donβt find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate π―.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.