Dark jokes

Why do white people get abducted by aliens?

Because they're easier to see in the dark.

Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?

So gay people can play Star Wars.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

Dark humor is like a child with cancer...

Never gets old.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

My humour is so dark that its life matters.

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?

Because they can’t see their parents.

Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?

To play Star Wars.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Because the Africans couldn't swim.

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!

What has two legs and is red all over?

Half a cat.

Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.

Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?

If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.