Dark jokes

*bowl of dark grapes*

Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

Friend 2: Black? Good one.

Friend 1: 21 at a time.

How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.

My humour is so dark that its life matters.

A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.

I AM SO SORRY!

Dark jokes are like Antarctica.

They're cold.

So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.

I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.

What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.

One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.

The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.

Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”

Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

What is a necrophiliac's safe word?

"I'm alive!"

I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.

Dr. Seuss dark jokes.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Because the Africans couldn't swim.

Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they sit in the dark and cry.

Wanna see something dark?

Close your eyes.