Dark Humor
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.