Visitorur mom3 years agoI visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Phoneur mom3 years agoToday, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
PedophileAdin3 years agoMy girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
BasementAdin3 years agoWhat is the difference between a preschool and my basement?Little kids leave preschool.
PedophileAdin3 years agoWhat do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?They both get turned on by kids.
Friendself hard3 years agoMy friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.Me: But they're not that long.
FuneralGAyYyYYyy3 years agoMy elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Emo kidm3 years agoHow many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
RopeCOCKY._.BOY_.3 years agoRope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?Me: Maybe I can hang later...Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
FriendAur Myss3 years agoRemember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
WifeAnonymous3 years agoDark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.