Dark Humor
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.