Dark Humor
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.