Daddy jokes
Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉
"I fancy Hunter, my big sugar daddy," said the orphan, clearly lying.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What do feminists and whores have in common?
Daddy issues.
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"