Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
Daddy Jokes
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
Say, "Moommy."
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
