Daddy Jokes

Timmy:*grabs box of trojans* Daddy:... Timmy: Well come on diddy! Daddy: Well shit lets go son! Both: YEE YEE

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Why can’t orphans have sex

Because they don’t have a daddy to run back too

why r orphans gay? they call everyone daddy

Why can,t orphan have sex because they have no one to call daddy

We say “Father, I have sinned”, because it would be weird if we said “Daddy, I have sinned” right?“Forgive me Daddy for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father”, not the “Our Daddy”

Dad\mom:Son,your adopted .son:i know,.*holds up daddys phone that has the text of them talking about it.* dad:babe,we need to talk. mom:ok...... dad:hes grounded. mom:your right,your grounded! oh and im dumping you. son:am i getting a new daddy? mom:soon honey,soon.... dad:i really shouldnt have let her know i cheating

alright so i have a few orphan jokes im gonna put them all in one message.

why cant orphans be gay? they have no one to call daddy.

why cant orphans go on a field trip? parent signiture:______

new teacher: i used to be an orphan as a kid students:hahaha teacher: is anyone missing? students:no one just your parents

why did the orphan become a prostitute? they kept calling everyone daddy

why do orphans have the iphonex because it has no home button

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

who ever said condom YES DADDY

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says "mom come quick I'm walking on water" and the mom runs in and says I knew evon whatent yo daddy I ain't never slept with h a day my life

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with her?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with him?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"

Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it's not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana