I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
ur dad lesbian
Ur sister a mister
Ur family tree LGBT
Ur famnily reunion a homosexual communion
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
What is a "dad?"
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal? Cause dad never brought home the milk...
Ask A Orphan This- "Whats the difference between cancer and ur dad, cancer comes back."
what do call a girl with one leg. ilean
Hi how are you busy doing right I just text me and my dad was just text
what do you call a cow without any legs......... ground beef
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Why does a orphanage have any milk because dad never came back with the milk
stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
you know what orphans and i have in comon are dads both left for the milk
