Dad jokes
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Memes
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
His gay ass dad.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.