dad: what do ou call a crazy creeper
mom: shit idontknow... kid: crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dad: tahtsmy bnoys!!!
kid:dad what happen to the kid napper. dad:he had a nap Kid:where is he now dad:HELL
When you end up pregnant.......
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say DON'T and if he touched me down there I should say STOP..but Dad, he touch me both places at once so I said DON'T STOP DON'T STOP 😂
One orphan said daddy chill I was like you don't have a dad
daughter:where was i born Dad:Alabama daughter :that is nice mum:We have never been to Alabama Dad:RUN
girl- mom, meet my boyfriend mom- meet my boyfriend girls boyfriend- dad is that you are you back from the supermarket with milk mom's boyfriend- uh gtg
today i saw my son lick out a tub of butter, i told him to make a sandwitch without butter for a week (as a punishment) he said 'ok' and licked the bread. 'it's really easy to spread' he said. LOL!
My child is ungrateful, I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you, no, he said "dad, I don't have any legs"
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it's okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
How does Helen Keller say dad? I don’t know but you should ask her..... wait never mind she can’t talk.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's dad said "that's Mr.wiggles". Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's mom said "that's my garden". Timmy's mom said don't look up. Timmy looked up. Timmy said "What are those?". Timmy's mom said those are her headlights. Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said don't look under the covers. Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR.WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
a girl comes home finds her dad and 4 year old brother on the sofa she says dad why is he wearing that face mask the dad buckles his belt and says theirs more for you hunny
Dad Sad Bad Rad Nad Tad Glad Clad Plaid Had
Yo mama so ugly your dad now had to be drunk to bring her home.
The difference between Your Dad and Cancer? Cancer came back....
my dad died in 9/11. he was such a good pilot
why did aarons dad beat him...... becasue he tensed his ass
Why did my dad leave me, Because i was a disapointment
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.
My dad killed himself - because he was Hitler
