Dad jokes
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
His gay ass dad.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.