Dad jokes

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.

His gay ass dad.

Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.

My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.

Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.

Why do dads take time to get?

Milk?

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.