Ill never forget my grampa's last words, "stop shaking the ladder you cunt"
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.
Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.
Pussy, asshole, cunt.
Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.
Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.
Jesus Harold Christ!
Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!
I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Only a city council committee would create this mistake.
Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?.... A woman!
