What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
